#GSD: Working With A Mean Girl

Six years ago, I interviewed at AARP with Tammy and Cecelia. Aside from being just desperate for a new job, there are two things I remember about that interview. First, I think I actually admitted to barely knowing what a 401(k) was but promising I could learn...I'd figured out patent law for my (then) current job and didn't know shit about that before! (I mean, I can't even. What was I thinking?!) But the second thing I distinctly remember is both Tammy and Cecelia telling me they didn't do "mean girls" in the department. There was no room for women hating on women - we were going to support each other.

Is it any surprise then, that Tammy and Cecelia became my mentors and eventually my closest friends? Ah, no.

In the years since that interview, there have been plenty of mean girls. And mean boys. Mean older people. Mean younger people. Frankly, mean people at work know no stereotypes, no background and can come out of nowhere.

The Anatomy of A Mean Girl

Let’s just level set here. Mean Girls are mean because they are insecure. There’s always something going on under their noggin that’s driving malicious, or just rude, behavior. Maybe it’s personal insecurity. Maybe she has a bad relationship with her boss. Maybe she doesn’t feel like she’s turned out enough work product lately. Maybe your company is going through layoffs and she’s nervous. Or maybe she just wants to take over the world – MGs are notorious for trying to angle to run the show. Point being, just recognize this is coming from a place of worry and nine times out of ten it has nothing to do with you.

And on that note, let’s try to remember that work is about work. Most of the time when someone is coming at you with jerky behavior it’s not personal. Someone going after your business strategy or cutting you down in a meeting is not an assault on your character or values. It’s not even a challenge to your passion for your job or your intellect. It helps to remember this because it will help temper your own defensive reactions. If you divorce yourself (your personal self) from the situation, you can see all the tactics for what they are – petty attempts to discredit you.

It’s Strictly Business

The best way to defend yourself against a mean girl is to always be about the business. Whether you’re laser focused on developing a better customer service program or generating new memberships or fundraising more for your cause, stay focused on your business’ bottom line goal. Everything you propose, work on and do in your 40+ hour week should always be tied back to the goals of your company or organization. Not only does driving the bottom line make you a more valuable employee, it also covers your ass big time - especially if you're in the business of innovation or exploring new/cutting edge projects.

See, while the MG is focused on you – cutting you down, discrediting you, etc. – she’s not focused on the real task at hand: the company’s bottom line. And probably doing so in front of her peers and leadership.

Essentially, this is the business equivalent of taking the high road.

What this is not? This is not being cold and detached, not taking people's feelings and emotions into account. You need to up your emotional IQ to be effective here, so listen more and pay attention to what's going on around you.

Prepare For Battle

Consider every meeting, every call, every hallway conversation a battle. You need to prepare for battles, right? You need to be armed with stats, examples, key messages that support your strategy and tie it back to business goals. You need to anticipate all the weaknesses in your strategy, address them or knock them out. You need to anticipate what MG is going throw your way or how she’ll pick you apart. Have a hand out, a slide or a handful of stats that combat or speak to those jabs. You will feel much more confident about the plan you’ve laid out but you’ll also look like a rock star to the team you’re working with and the higher-ups who are managing you and MG.

Group meetings are not the time to float a big new idea that could leave you feeling vulnerable or unprepared. If you're planning on broaching a new project with your team, rally your bosses and higher ups. Run ideas by the decision makers first and make sure you're going in with backup support. I rarely introduce ideas or speak authoritatively about something without running all the traps - up and down the ladder - beforehand. MGs involved or not.

What is this not? This is not snapping at MG in meetings. This is not attacking her in public settings. It's a fine line between being smart and on-point and embarrassing someone publicly. You are are going for the former, not the latter.

That Said, Choose Your Battles Wisely

You are but one person - with limited emotional capacity and internal political capitol. You cannot win every fight, nor should you even try to. Learning to choose which fights to engage in is a skill you'll acquire over time. Before you run with a knee-jerk reaction, take a walk and game it out. Think ten steps down the road:

• What happens if you engage?
• What happens if you don't?
• How long is this fight going to take you away from more important work, or does it actually help you move the ball down the road on that work?
• Who will you have to call in for reinforcements? Is this where you want to spend your political capitol at work right now?
• Do you have a bigger fight or ask coming down the road you need to save your energy for?
• Will anything truly bad happen if you just let MG have her way?

Finally, ask yourself this: am I going to win this fight eventually anyway? If the answer is yes, ignore and move on. I'd say most of the time, engaging in fights with MGs are a waste of time. Fly above it, sister.

Educate Everyone. Particularly Everyone Around MG.

Sometimes when people repeatedly come at us at work we focus on them too much. And how could we not? They’re demanding our attention by picking at us – in emails, in meetings and more. But these distractions are not productive. They knock us off our game, we end up spending more time than necessary bitching about them or recovering from their tactics. This is easier said than done, but: ignore them. I'm rubber, you're glue. Talk to the palm, cause you ain't da bomb. Lalalalala I can't hear you. You've got other things to focus on...

Like building a team of allies. Nothing can be done alone - but how much do you really need MG? Pretend she, or her job function, wasn't available to you. Who would you work with to execute your ideas? Who would you have to get buy-in from to make things happen? There's your new focus. For every minute spent lamenting MG, you will now focus on building better relationships and educating the people around her. Talk about your ideas, your plan and the data that supports it - to anyone who will hear you out!

Again, this is a double whammy - you get to establish yourself as an expert to more people in your organization AND you are effectively finding a way to #GSD without MG.

What this is not? This is not going over MG's head. This is not going to her boss and tattling on her (remember, snitches get stitches). This is simply educating and empowering a wider group of people to help drive your business' goals. Preferably with you.

Acknowledge Good Ideas & Success

Good ideas and success happens at all levels and from all corners of the business. That means sometimes MG is going to succeed. Sometimes, she might even school you on something. That's okay! This is when you flex your good karma muscle and swallow back some of that pride. You are a team player, and if a good idea helps the business, then that's what it's all about.

What this is not? This is not being sarcastic or condescending in meetings and emails. This is a genuine expression of gratitude or praise.

Don't Leave The Burn Book Out

Hey, we all need to vent sometimes! I get it. But keep that venting to a minimum when you're at drinks with coworkers. And certainly don't vent in company email. Save your rants for your mom, your BFF or your dog. Go ahead and write those scathing emails, from your personal account, and then delete them. Heck, sometimes I even say everything I'm just dying to say, great monologue style, in the shower or while I'm doing my hair in the morning. Get it out, but don't compromise your professionalism or your relationships at work in the process.

What this is not? This is not keeping it all bottled up inside, never letting anyone, ever know what's wrong.

Dealing with MGs at work is not fun - no matter what form they take on. But it's also a fact of life. Instead of curling up into fetal in your cubicle and letting them rule your work life, look at this as an opportunity to learn and grow at work. People skills, navigating internal politics and mastering the art of persuasion are the most transferable work skills you may have in your arsenal some day! How do you guys deal with MGs? Share below!

#GSD: Be An In-House Expert

A couple weeks ago I was presenting to a group of AARP field staff about the AARP Social Communications team. After sharing our structure, roles and some tips for rocking at social communications, I was asked, "How did you guys establish yourselves as the experts? How did you become the go-to people for social media at AARP?" It's not like we had a formula, or were plotting an exacting strategy, but in hindsight there were several things we systematically did to establish our expertise. When I thought back even further to my days in media relations or even my PR agency days, I realized I did the same things to establish myself as the go-to person for any number of subjects or tasks.

Consider this your hit list. Make time for two or three of these things a week and you'll be well on your way to being "that person who knows how to...." in your organization. Do the items that make the most sense for your role and your organization's culture, but also consider that being an expert means paving the way, leading, busting down boundaries and that may make you a little bit uncomfortable. That's okay, and mostly, that's good! It means you're stepping out of your comfort zone. But it also means you're embracing the risk as you put yourself out there and stand up for your ideas.

Always. Be. Selling.

My friend Jenna is in sales. She's whip smart and she can do the hustle better than anyone I know. But she's smooth about it - unobtrusive and never makes you feel like you're hearing a pitch. Listen, no one is going to get behind your idea just because. You have to sell your idea, but more importantly yourself. Jenna's so good because she understands what she's selling against. Maybe for one client it's driving traffic, while for another it's raising awareness. Depending on their needs she talks about how she can help people achieve their goals.

Understand the people you're selling to: what makes them tick? Maybe one boss loves numbers and analytics, while another religiously reads the Wall Street Journal and yet another might hate taking meetings but loves grabbing coffee. How you sell yourself and your ideas should be catered to the individual you're selling to, not yourself.

Share Ideas - With Context

I read more than 300 RSS feeds every day for a reason: sharing. When it comes to sharing articles and information with colleagues and higher ups, the key is context and ease.

In my PR agency days I learned that many of my clients weren't clicking on the links to news stories I sent them. Bummer. Then I switched up the format of my emails. I copy/pasted the headline of the article into the body of the email, provided a full link to the article and then a copy of the article in its entirety in the body of the email. At the very top I added a sentence or two of intro & context and 2-3 bullets with the key takeaways or questions I needed them to answer.

See, not many people have the time or the interest in reading the things you will send. What are the quick bites? What would you tell them if you were only going two floors in an elevator together? That's the most important part of the email, well, and a subject line that makes them want to open it. Add value to the article and it shows how you are valuable beyond being an over-glorified newsletter.

Walk The Walk

Don't just talk about it, be about it. You want to start a social media program for your company? You better have a social media program for yourself. Yep, a program. Think there's a more streamlined way of printing and mailing? Try it out on yourself first, take note of the cost savings, process and improvements for you alone.

Recruit the willing into your ideas. There are always a few people who are willing to try an idea or go rogue with you. Go for the low hanging fruit - easy wins, small projects and build critical mass around your ideas by actually doing them on a small scale.

Teachable Moments

For those times you want to scream, "I told you guys we should have done that!" Yeah, you knew you were right all along, and just now everyone else realized you were right too. Be gentle, focus on the positive and the future. Don't lay blame, and definitely don't be condescending. This is your chance to show the higher ups that you can fix a problem or improve upon a lackluster outcome by implementing that program, plan or process you've been selling so hard. Bonus points: work with your team rather than trying to lead the new plan or take it away from them.

Speak Sparingly

A friend just shared this anecdote: if it takes you more than 15 minutes to figure out who the asshole is in a meeting, there's a good chance it's you.

Listening! It's a lost art. Especially at work! You do not need to clamor to make your point first, there are no points for talking louder or faster and there is no rule that you need to speak on every point or even in every meeting. Listen to what's being said, absorb it - is there a subtext? What are the goals you're trying to achieve in the meeting/conversation? Who is in the room? What might that mean? - and determine if you have any value to add. No value? Don't speak. Value? Speak away, my friend!

Message Repetition

This is total PR girl advice. What are your three key points you're trying to make? You are these three points. Become the three points. Shamelessly repeat the three points. When you speak (sparingly) these are your go-to messages, or what you always bring your audience back to. These points need to speak to your capabilities, strengths or boil down your ideas into salient, easy to digest snippets.

Drive-Bys

Put on your big girl panties, this is going to require you to strap on some extra confidence. I want you to,  unannoyingly and unobtrusively, "swing by" influential people's offices. Sometimes I want you to just say, "Hi!" Sometimes I want you to have a loose idea of something (related to your chosen field of expertise) to chat BRIEFLY about. Sometimes I want you to make friends with their assistant. Are you catching my drift? To be an expert you also need to be physically visible to the people who can help validate you.

If you want to be known as a social media expert, swing by a few times and offer to help a higher up download Twitter to their phone and get all set up. If the person you're visiting loves reading things on paper, drop off an interesting article you printed out. If they have a sense of humor, or love, I don't know, buffalos, tell them a joke you heard or mention a cool painting of buffalos on exhibit downtown. This is about personal relationship building that transcends your technical expertise. People work with people they like, not just people who are the smartest or most qualified.

It's not a science, but try putting a few of these things on your calendar every week at work as a reminder. If you passionately embody your ideas, and aim to share the benefits of them every day with people around you, you'll become an in-house expert. But remember it's a slow build - like growing an audience on Twitter - it's just going to take some time. (So start now!)

Photo Source: Me! (Alejandra Owens)

#GSD: WordPress MeetUp

This blog, and every blog I've ever worked on, is run on WordPress. That said, I like to attend the local DC WordPress meetups when I can. Usually, I learn a nugget here or there for my personal blog. Sometimes I learn enough to be dangerous at work: "Something something widget something something plugin something something give me what I want!" :)

Tomorrow (Tuesday, April 9th, at 7pm) is a bit special though because I'm actually presenting. (Oh snap!) I'm not a WordPress developer so don't expect anything about developing plugins or back end anything. However, you should come if you are/want to know:

• How I increased traffic to the AARP blog 500% in one year. 
• Run a blog - large/small, corporate/personal.
• Are interested in integrated content strategy.
• Want to be a better blogger, period.
• Need some #RealTalk to whip your blogging strategy into shape.
• Need your boss to hear some #RealTalk to whip your blogging strategy into shape.

So basically, instead of hiring an agency to say all that shit you say constantly but your boss or team won't be hearin' from you - bring them tomorrow night. I'll say it. You can owe me a glass of wine.

Also instead of being all, "Oh hey Alejandra can I pick your brain about blogging sometime?" You can come to this! There's even beer. And if I'm feeling cool, I'll bring bourbon.

Oh, and did I mention, the event is FREE? Yeah - no budget proposals and worrying about getting reimbursed. Free!

Either way, these shindigs are fun! And you always learn - like, owww! My brain hurts! learn.

Special Note For The Ladies: There's always women in the room for these meetups (read: it's not a big ol' sausage fest) - and I want tomorrow to be no different. Come with a friend, or, I'll be your friend for the night! Either way, if you're worried about not knowing anyone, looking stupid or just generally skittish about coming to stuff like this - this is your night! Get yo' booty up off that chair and come on down!

#GSD: Pomodoro

Me: *Checks personal email* 140 emails with way too many unread.

Me: *Checks work email* 200 emails that all require some sort of response or action.

Me: *Goes to get coffee.*

That happens to me at least a couple times a week. I check my email or my to-do list and, when faced with a tidal wave of work, I cave and do something else all together. It's the opposite of productive and usually by the end of the week I've created an even bigger mess that requires even more time to clean up.

Enter: The Pomodoro Technique. I'm not certified, I haven't taken any classes, but I have done 6 pomodoros this week already and damnit I feel good! Basically, The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method...and it's going to help you get some major shit done!

Prepare For Ultimate To-Do List Take Down

Just like the image above indicates, using The Pomodoro Technique is really quite simple. Starting with your to-do list, you pick a task or set of tasks to complete. I use the free pomodoro app (there are quite a few versions on iTunes) to set a 25 minute timer, and hunker down on those tasks.

#ProTip: I close every window on my computer that isn't related to completing my task, including my email. Eliminating distractions is key to focusing during your pomodoro.

You'll learn over time what kind of tasks take less time or more time, grouping them together or separating them out. For example, I do a weekly email cleanse on Fridays. At first I thought I could do that in one pomodoro, realistically it takes two. I now budget my time accordingly. Responding to emails, writing plans or drafting presentations are all going to take multiple sessions, but you can break them into chunks like research, outlining, finding images, etc. that can each be focused on in one pomodoro.

Once you've completed your task and crossed it off your to-do list, you get a five minute break! Yay! Dance around the office, talk to a friend, check your Twitter! Once your five minutes is up, you're back at it. Once you do four pomodoro sessions (that's two hours worth of focused work), you get a longer break - an hour...or maybe a long lunch...with a glass of wine...but maybe that's just me.

Putting Pomodoro To Use

I like to think of pomodoro sessions like interval workouts...you know the ones where you run like a bat shit crazy banshee for 30 seconds and then walk for one minute, over and over for 30 minutes? The idea, neigh, the motto, for those sessions is always "I can do anything for 30 seconds! This is horrid and I hate it, but I can do anything for 30 seconds!" Same at work with pomodoro. I might hate email or writing plans or filing expense reports, but I can do anything for just 25 minutes! Right!

#ProTip: Schedule Pomodoro time into you day. That awkward 30 minutes between meetings where you never get anything done? Schedule a pomodoro into that time and identify a few, easy tasks to complete so you're maximizing your time.

I habitually avoid the same kinds of tasks every week, so I now just use a few pomodoros to get them done and out of the way. Here are tasks that I find are best done using pomodoro sessions:

• cleaning out email inboxes
• updating to-do lists based on those email cleanses
• writing blog posts, searching for images
• filing expense reports
• listening to voicemail (oh I hate voicemail so much!) and responding to it
• issuing contracts, filling out time cards
• checking my Feedly/RSS reader (let's get real, sometimes I just fall into the internet and an hour later I'm looking at pretty pictures on Pinterest! Best to confine these sorts of things to a pomodoro session.)
• cleaning my house (it becomes a bit of a competition with myself to get everything done in one session)

I have to admit, not only do I feel so much better about my workload or to-do list after I do a few sessions, my brain actually hurts a little from focusing so hard on the task(s) at hand! Not only have I done my work, but I know I've done my best work because I am so focused on it.

Everyone has things they don't like doing, or projects that seem insurmountable - but when you break it up into little bite-sized work sessions, nothing is as bad as it seems. So, what have you been avoiding that could get done in a pomodoro? Got any other #protips for using The Pomodoro Technique? Share it all down there in the comments!

Photo credit: The Pomodoro Technique.

#GSD: Find Your Swagger

You know that song? That song that makes you swing your hips a little extra or makes you walk a little taller, head up high? You probably only listen to it when you're getting ready to go out on the town.

Yeah, we need to fix that.

Everyday Is A Hustle

The (somewhat sucky) truth is that everyday, even on our not A-game days, we're making impressions on people. The day I don't dress up all professional like, or am in a bad mood or I got into a fight with my mom before work - that's still a day I have to hustle at work. Shit needs to get done, meetings go on and I have to be, like, competent and with it. Well crap, what's a girl to do?

Find Your Swagger

I loved this quote I saw on Megan Greenwell's Tumblr: "Portray Kanye-type swagger (because we’re #1), but in a Will Smith way (approachable)." It's the social media philosophy for a major brand - but how brilliant is that!? It describes exactly how I want to feel when I walk through those doors at work every morning. I want to be the most confident person possible, no doubt, but I still want to be someone people want to work for or with. So how do you find your swagger?

Step 1: Open Pandora, Spotify, YouTube, iTunes - wherever you can listen to music.

Step 2: Rock. Out.

I often joke that all I listen to is dirty, Spanish rap music - and that's mostly true - but the reason has more to do with the beat than it does the words. Music can 100% set the tone of any situation, I mean, think of a dinner party. Music can amp your group up, chill them out or even indicate it's time to leave. (Cue the music turning off.) So why wouldn't we use music to instill a sense of confidence?!

Every morning I jam to dance, pop, rap, rock - whatever puts some pep in my step and encourages an "I got this" vibe. By the time I get to work I'm feeling pretty good, maybe even a little sassy. (Sorry work folks! Please don't hijack my playlists!)

So I asked folks on Twitter what their favorite songs to get amped to were, with an eye for non-Spanish rap music (I realize this isn't for everyone), and put together a Spotify playlist for us. There's 137 tracks, or about 8 hours of music, and arguably something for everyone. (There are some explicit lyrics in there, so best to put on your headphones before pressing play at work.)

[spotify id="spotify:user:frijolita23:playlist:03W17l1ZMzQHg1MqPeziJs" width="300" height="380" /]

But this is just the beginning! It's time for you to make a #GDS Swagger playlist for yourself and share it. (I know you can do it, you spent all that time making a break-up playlist...) If you have a link, share it in the comments, or tell me what your favorite song is and I'll add it to mine. In the meantime...

Photo credit: Alejandra Owens (me!).