Holiday Reads: Long Reads, A Book & an App To Hold You Over

Screw those conversation guides, here's a whole bunch of stuff to read when you're hiding in the bathroom or stealing away to handle that "work emergency." Or, here's a bunch of stuff to read while you're stuck in the airport on your 2, 3, now 5 hour lay over. 

David Brooks' Sydney Awards offers you four engaging, long read personal essays. 

Katherine Miller of Buzzfeed tweeted her list of delightful reads not by Buzzfeed (she later tweeted a slew of what she considered their best political writing of the year, too). Here, in a slightly edited, and easier to click format: 

• How to accept compliments and handle praise
• George Saunders: My Writing Education
• Just Checking In (In which two friends try to horrify each other via email.)
• A Black Cat In A Dark Room (A tiny Kazakh village's residents fall asleep for days on end and no one knows why.)
• Dirty Talk and Dostoyevsky on the Night Shift
• Ina Garten Does It Herself
• I Will Drink Every Last Drop Of Water On Earth by an Almond
• Death To The Maxi Dress: A Manifesto

Some stuff you really liked, by little 'ol me: 

• GSD: When Burnout Is Inevitable
• GSD: Strategic Plans (Game of Thrones Edition)
• Weekend Reads: Documentaries, F-Bombs and Pasta Sauce
• Weekend Reads: Crying At Work, Haters and Country Music
• Weekend Reads: Lube, Strategy and Why Context Matters
• Weekend Reads: The History Of Glitter, Divorce and Rule 34

LongReads.com has their Best of 2015 list. 

Want to start a book? Check out The Billionaire's Vinegar and enter the weird, surprisingly dramatic world of extreme wine collecting and the upper echelons of moneyed society - with a dash of American history. It's not as pretentious as it sounds, I promise. 

My last idea for you: download The List App. It's an app for lists...of all kinds. Funny lists, sweet lists, heartwarming lists, serious lists. Make a list and tell us all what funny things your family is saying - and give me a follow! 

Have a wonderful holiday, or if you're not celebrating a holiday, have a wonderfully slow week at work and enjoy the downtime! 

Image Credit: My mom. 

Weekend Reads: Reading The Comments, Gratitude & Spicy Accents

I just love the holidays, mostly Christmas trees, and I am reveling in having mine all set up, twinkly and dotted with ornaments. I'm also thrilled to put a book end on 2015 and see what 2016 can bring in love, at work and in life. I don't know if I'll have New Year's resolutions or maybe just something I really want to focus on - what are you guys doing? 

The Disapproval Matrix, because criticism sucks but sometimes you gotta have the hard conversation.

Why little ones in Japan are so independent. Running simple errands, alone, as young as 5 or 6! 

Along those lines, Radical Candor. Whether you're a manager or not, the idea of being invested in the success and well-being of your team and sharing information with them - good and bad - is one we should all be getting behind.

"Doing social media" isn't just "doing social media" anymore. There are three (probably more) jobs involved in social/content marketing - and no one can, or should, do all three. 

I love spoken word poetry, and Denise Frohman's piece about her mother's accent is so beautifully spot on. My mom doesn't have an accent. but I love how she describes what an accent can do, what it can mean and how it's so much more than about language. 

I really hate it when people describe me as "spicy." Here's how that moniker even got started. 

B.J. Novak is out in the press a lot right now promoting his The List App (more on that later), but his time in the chair with Tim Ferriss was pretty enlightening. He talks about the creative process for him, how he organizes himself and a lot about what inspired him to build an app, of all things! 

It's all in a name. No, but really, if people can't pronounce your name it has an odd ripple effect on he rest of your life. 

"We were promised that the weight of our spectacular mediocrity would attach itself to a woman far more appealing and on top of things than we are...." and "I was conditioned to think a “healthy partnership” meant a woman absorbing my failures — especially if the woman happened to be successful and respected in other areas of life." are some of the more spectacular lines from this man on why he'll never be his wife's equal. 

I struggle with finding joy in the little things. Or even feeling gratitude for the smallest things. In 2016 it's something I really want to focus on. 

You have an exciting new job! It's one of those jobs that does two things at the same time! Or you have to embrace multiple industries within one role! Yay. It's hard. Like really, really hard. These tips on hybrid roles are great, even for non social media/media folks. 

Your marriage can be a master or a disaster, and it all boils down to one thing. 

Never read the comments. Never read the comments? The New York times reads their comments. And the commenters. Are. Awesome. 

Have a wonderful weekend, dears! I'll be super jealous of anyone seeing Star Wars! I think I'm going to have to wait a few days before I snag tickets. 

Image Source: Danielle Laporte

Weekend Reads: David Brooks, Cost Of Living & The Sexy Getting Ready Song

I've little going on this week and weekend and it's just how I want to keep it. It's picture perfect Fall weather here complete with crystal clear skies, rushes of wind that rustle dried leaves and crispy cool weather. Enjoy your peace wherever you are! 

David Brooks is a polarizing and thoughtful figure, so this piece on his transformation from political punditry to moral explorer was interesting enough. But this advice from a former colleague stuck out as both necessary and poignant: "Sometimes you just take the stick, and you put it in the ant hill, and you shake it around, and you make everyone run around a little."

Some very good advice. 

What happens when Secret Santa and the Kansas City Sheriff's Department team up? Well, it starts raining on your face. 

I really love this advice too, this time from Cindy Gallop: If people respond poorly to how you feel and how you express yourself, then they’re not for you. 

My buddy Will Caggiano recently left city life and relocated to the country. His musings, written in the third person, offer witty insights and heartwarming perspective on life, parenting and culture. 

Alejandro Jodorowsky is part creative, part philosopher. I love his sentiments in Spanish because they have an elegance to them, but translated, they're just as powerful.  

La felicidad es creer que algún día la encontraremos.

— Alejandro Jodorowsky (@alejodorowsky) November 9, 2015

My name might be Alejandra Serena Owens, but I don't speak fluent Spanish and whatever I do speak is elementary at best. I'm not tryin' to hear any shit about it either. 

"If you spend too much time looking for your next big break, you'll be stealing your opportunity to do your best work. Which is the the most important break of all." - Seth Godin

"But here's the thing. None of us get out of life alive. Be galant, be great, be gracious and be grateful for the opportunities you have." A graduation speech that'll have you reaching for the tissue box. 

6 photographers, 1 subject and 6 stories. The subject and the person behind the lens impacts what story is told. 

Dreaming of living in Paris? Or Mexico? Or South Africa? Hey, maybe the cost of living isn't so off from where you live now! 

"In this way, the microcomplaint functions as a kind of reverse boast: You may be celebrating a new job or engagement with a Michelin-starred dinner, but look at how much I have suffered today — I’m deserving of more attention."

The Sexy Getting Ready song is slightly NSFW and 100% hilarious. Oh the pain women put ourselves through to get ready for a date! 

On repeat: Missy Elliott. If you haven't heard it by now, prepare to be addicted. Also: silver glitter lipstick? Please, and thank you. Have a wonderful weekend, dears! 

Image Source: The Citizenry

Weekend Reads: Perfectionist Overfunctioning, Takis & Cholos

I've been talking a lot about "authenticity" lately. Authenticity, as a concept, is starting to feel awfully crafted, intentional and more like an offshoot of personal branding than actually being yourself. I have a working theory that most of us who tout authenticity in the work we do are actually really uncomfortable with the concept of it when it comes to ourselves. I don't think that means we're a bunch of self-loathing people running around, I think we just don't really know ourselves all that well. Anil Dash had some wonderful things to say about how knowing - and sharing - your values, has a ripple effect for your success and the success of others. 

"Both entitlement and unworthiness are the work of the resistance. The twin narratives make us bitter, encourage us to be ungenerous, keep us stuck." #ImposterSyndrome wuuuut. 

Perfectionist overfunctioning: doing too much, all the time and doing it with an unreasonable expectation of perfection. I can 100% relate and it's been the bane of my existence this year. 

"You don't go to Mexico CIty for rest and relaxation...You’ll start with trepidation, finish breathless and spent, and before your head stops spinning, you’ll find yourself wondering how long before you can do it again." Even my dad is sending me articles about Mexico City now. 

"I am a woman, I am a Mexican but that is just part of the many ingredients that make me who I am. It's more three dimensional than the particular labels." I love the story of Alondra de la Parra. It's inspirational but it's also rooted in deep passion and ridiculously hard work. 

Asking when you're going to get a promotion? As a boss-lady, I can tell you, you're asking the wrong question. 

Traveling alone freaks me out, but Addie's piece on self discovery and learning about yourself through the lens of other cultures hit home for me. 

Disagreeing with someone isn't the end of the world and it certainly isn't the end of a partnership or opportunity for collaboration. I think this goes for personal relationships as much as work relationships too. 

Cholos trying kale and kombucha is the best thing I've seen all week. "It's organic and raw." "Psshhh I'm organic and raw." 

A few years ago I discovered a most glorious snack: Takis. They're a crunchy and delicious nibble and if you haven't experienced them then you are just missing out! These kids love them more than I do, I think. Have a great weekend, dears! 

Weekend Reads: Adele, Darwin Getting Married & Lady Gaga

Sometimes a vacation is exactly what you need. And exactly what you don't need, because comparison is the root of discontent. I say this with a chuckle, because my four-turned-five day vacation in Mexico was beautiful and restful and transformative all at the same time. But it also stood in such stark contrast to so much of my day-to-day life back at home. Vacations are supposed to be super different, you say!! This guy disagrees, and I think I'm starting to agree with him more and more. 

A basically incurable flesh eating disease exists in the world...but only because drug companies can't make a profit selling it to the 1 billion (mostly) poor people who contract it. 

Hello! Adele's new song has inexplicably sent me into tears several times this week, but I-D's profile of her is a long read that did not. 

Darwin's pro and con list for getting married is entertaining to say the least. 

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."~Maya Angelou

— Amy Cuddy (@amyjccuddy) October 14, 2015

Why are you so unhappy? What choices do you make that enable your unhappiness? What can you say to no to in order to be happier. Lady Gaga digs deep and gets to the heart of it. 

Have you ever heard of The Homies? I have a small collection of the cholo and chola figurines myself, but Vice did a phenomenal profile of a man who made millions off of them. 

I'm done trying to deny it, I'm a Belieber. The video for Sorry doesn't have a single clip of Bieber's angsty brow and I like it that way. These chicas inspired many full-length mirror dance parties through the week. Enjoy! 

Photo Credit: Me! (Alejandra Owens)

Weekend Reads: Starving Artists, Kissing Cats & Tucson

I'm posting a week late or a day early, depending on how you look at it. I'm tired, dears! I'm off to Mexico City for a few days to meet up with an old friend and be a tourist. I can't wait to see Frida Kahlo's house and eat pozole and use some of my totally awful Spanish. Mostly I'm excited I won't be able to use my phone. Yay for disconnecting! 

This warmed my heart at the top of the week: a debate team from the Eastern New York Correctional Facility in the Catskills beat a Harvard Debate team. Spoiler alert: they couldn't use the internet to prepare, making the win that much more impressive. 

There's a bit of a romanticized narrative around falling in love with a creative person - the starving artist, being surrounded with beautiful things & art. In reality, they're pretty terrible partners because after all that creativity energy is used, there's little left for their partners. 

“People tend to come to Tucson to figure something out." The New York Times discovers hidden beauty in my hometown's aging, decrepit and geographically desolate state. 

Ronda Rousey is my new favorite bad ass. Her rant on Do Nothing Bitches (which Beyonce played at a concert recently) is so spot on and this New York Times profile about her taking on body image issues and Hollywood made me fall for her even more. 

You'll want to turn up the sound when you watch this video of two cats aggressively making out to Katy Perry. Not sure why, but this is making me laugh and laugh and laugh today. 

Reddit. It's like the youngest brother who just can't quite seem to keep a job and pay rent on time. But it's trying! 

Read It's Decorative Gourd Season Motherfuckers and then watch this. But no matter what Matt Bellassai says, I still LOVE FALL!! 

Sometimes shutting your trap is the best thing you can do for yourself and those around you.  

Shopping is a problem - for me and a lot of women I know. A few years ago I implemented a "higher quality" rule after hitting an income threshold that could support it, and a closet full of things that never fit quite right. Not long after that I implemented a one in, one out rule so I'd stop holding on to things I barely wore. With each move I get closer to a closet that reflects what I actually wear, what fits me very well and is tightly edited with go-to pieces that require little to no thinking. That's why I think this rule of only purchasing items $150 or more isn't the most absurd thing I've ever heard. Arbitrary rules that make you stop and think actually work. 

A dying 27 year old father wrote letters for his son to open at critical moments in his life. I laughed, I cried and I laughed while I was crying.

Ever heard of an If-By-Whiskey argument? Neither had I, but the democratic candidate debate this week was, at times, a perfect case study in it.  

I almost posted a Daddy Yankee video because I've been listening to a lot of my Spanish music lately, but I thought I'd spare you this week. Have a good weekend! 

Weekend Reads: The History Of Glitter, Divorce Cake & Rule 34

I love Danielle Laporte's little #TruthBomb notes. Mostly because they can be interpreted in so many ways, they can be something for anyone. This one really got me because lately it's what I've been doing. Keep looking. Keep looking for the positive, keep looking for the opportunities, keep looking for a moment to connect with someone, keep looking for myself. Keep looking, dears. 

How do class systems work? This little New York Times tool is a quick and easy peak into where you stand in the American class system. 

There's fighting war and then there's covering war. C.J. Chivers has one of the most prolific war-zone bylines of our generation - and this long read is all about why he stopped.

Oh Sophia Loren, I just love you. 

Everyone I know is dropping the lbs. left and right lately. I'm happy for them, and this gem - 4 ways to lose weight - had me laughing, and sighing. 

Things you didn't know you needed: a comprehensive history of glitter. 

Ryan Adams covered the entirety of Taylor Swifts 1989 and turned it into an emotional, at time angsty opposite to it's original. 

The cake that made Ruth Reichl realize she was going to leave her husband, and 9 other dishes. 

Sex and the City made it to Amazon Prime - one writer's assessment of how it holds up watching the whole shebang 17 years after its debut. 

I give the Economist extra points for talking about how porn is changing our sexual tastes, generation by generation but even more so for explaining Rule 34 to the thinking class. 

I will never look at Justin Bieber again without seeing Kate McKinnon (which might be the only thing that makes him remotely tolerable anymore) but damn have I had his latest on repeat during my workouts and commute. Have a great weekend! 

Image Source

Weekend Reads: Franzia, Literature & Microaggressions

Don't you just love that little cutie pictured above? His name is Leo and he's livin' the life with my friend Lindsay in San Fran. Lindsay also happens to be a part of an awesome group called Women Catalysts. Their mission is to "inspire more women to action. We believe that when we work together, we can do great things." The only thing I love more than that mission is their awesome tag line: Kick Ass. Take Names. Send Thank You Notes. If you'd like to buy the tote bag featured in the pic, scroll to the bottom of this post for a link to their shop site. 

Cher and Tina Turner singing Shame, Shame, Shame really made my day. 

14 little psychological tricks everyone should know. (Body language, you're such a dead giveaway.)

I'm trying to read more - and not in the beach reads, romcom sort of way (though I do love that). I'm feeling a bit wistful about my high school and college literature courses and it sounds like Valeria Luiselli might be the author to scratch that itch. 

If literature just isn't your hustle, maybe you just want to be a better online reader. 

TBH I don't even care that this reporter asked Serena Williams why she wasn't smiling and happy after her big win. I care way, way more that Serena answered with brutal, unapologetic honesty. As a lady boss who says what she means, I think a lot of good can come out of being straight up honest. 

Speaking of honesty, Seth Godin punched me in the gut this week with this nugget: 

"The most devastating thing we can learn about our power is how much of it we have. How much change we could make if we would only speak up first, not last. How much influence we can have if we're willing to to look someone in the eye and say, 'yes.' Or, 'this is our problem, too.' Or, 'this must stop.'"

What really matters at the end of one's life? This Ted talk is emotional, raw and so, so elegantly delivered. 

I am really loving Broadly (Vice's female-informed channel). This piece on sexuality and people with disabilities toggles between refreshingly human and voyeuristically detailed. 

Who knew boxed wine could be a story of such drama and intrigue? Franzia drops it all: murder, the mob and family feuding. 

If I ever told my mom about the newly coined term "microaggression" I'm pretty sure she'd scoff at me and tell me to get bigger problems. This piece on how grown-ups deal with microaggressions could have been written by her. 

I've been on a Fleetwood Mac and TLC kick all week. I've had Creep on repeat and it takes me right back to middle school. Plus, I just love the attitude with which T-Boz delivers the first line: "Yes...it's me again..." Have a great weekend, dears! 

Image source: shop the Women Catalysts tote (and support boss ladies everywhere!)

Weekend Reads: Indecision, Sex Clubs & Quality Time

My friend Kate snapped this pic and shared it with me - it's very apropos of the last couple weeks we've had. More on our plates than we'd care to be handling, but at the same time, embracing it all and rolling with the waves rather than against them. Eat it up, dears. Sometimes you just gotta eat it up! 

What makes us so indecisive? Spoiler: It doesn't have anything to do with disposition. 

Some people think emotional intelligence is either bullshit or just not a "thing." Not true, I say! This quick NYT read outlines four areas of emotional intelligence for leaders. But honestly. they're also good for your personal life too. 

What happens when you judge 3 million books by their covers? You get an interesting data set!

One night in Berlin's most notorious sex club. Oof. 

“You are speaking from a position of privilege,” Jack said, “so you have no right to criticize us or tell us what to do.” Politically correct Lord of the Flies. 

This man is deciding what is popular on the internet. 

Making friends as an adult is hard, it just is. Quartz explains the weirdest types of friendships you end up in at 30, but my favorite is the "Does this friendship make sense?" graph. 

I love Frank Bruni's piece on the myth of quality time. I love it for two reasons: humans don't perform intimacy and connectedness on cue and I have always loved spending a flood of time with friends and family. I totally crave the volume of connection and I hate being relegated to a time slot. 

I have no music video for you this week as I've been listening to the same Justin Bieber song on rotation and I'm embarrassed enough by it. Have a great weekend, dears! 

Weekend Reads: Crying At Work, Haters & Country Music

I've been thinking about needs a lot for some time now. This year has been an interesting one - one that's forced me to take stock of all sorts of things, whether it's work or money or friends. One or two main events has had a ripple effect that's shifted the way I think about how I've been living. The good news is, I've never been as clear about what I'm pursuing as I am right now. The bad news is, making the changes I need to make to get there are haaaaard! But that's life - no pain, no gain and such. At least I know what I'm chasing...and why. 

Impostor syndrome suuuucks but if you can manage to harness that insecurity and use it to drive you to become better and wiser, then it's not all a lost cause. 

The darker side of maple syrup production! Ooooh! Who knew? Really, it's a fight between individual producers and the organized industry. 

I will probably not have kids, and this piece from Amanda Palmer articulates one of my greater fears about motherhood: getting boring. "And right now, at 36 weeks pregnant, all I can do is look at the female heroes who’ve preceded me and NOT descended into crappy boringness and pray to the holy trinity: Patti…Ani...Björki…hear my prayer. May I not get fucking boring."

For a good laugh: 8 reasons why everyone should learn to code. 

The Petty Tyrant. A story of union mean mugging, absolute power corrupting absolutely and just plain old bullying. 

You may know Benedict Cumberbatch voiced Smaug in The Hobbit, but did you know he actually acted out the role to be captured in CGI? 

Dating sucks. It sucks real bad right now. Jon Birger uncovered a really fascinating trend in demographics and population growth that correlated with marriage ages and rates. Date-onomics, the book, was born and Time had a great piece on the idea from the author himself. 

What happens if you fall into a black hole? It would clone you!! 

"So just as there are as many women as men who burn with an ambition to reach the top, there are as many women as men who want to make a shit ton of money, there are as many women as men who enormously enjoy the exercise of power, there are just as many men as women who hate going into the office on a monday morning, there are as many men as women who want to spend time with their children, there are as many men as women who look at the upper echelons of their company and go, ‘I don’t want to be there’." - Cindy Gallop on gender diversity in the workplace. 

More people should quit more of the time. Controversial take on Amazon and work/life balance, but I agree that if you're not happy or you're in a company who's culture doesn't match your values, you should quit. 

Sooner or later the haters move on. 

A laugh-out-loud account of crying at work (PR agency veterans will relate), and just crying in life. 

How to age gracefully. Advice from every age. 

Country music is obsessed with adultery - no really, the numbers prove it. This long read on the history of infidelity reminded me I just love Dolly Parton, Jolene in particular. 

Image Source: Danielle Laporte #truthbombs

Weekend Reads: Subreddits, Dude Ranches & Emotional Baggage

I (mostly) took two weeks off and I am feeling about 1000% better - definitely more whole and well-rested. In fact, I think I could do two more and not blink an eye! I've been reading a lot of off-line material but here's a quick round up of some great stuff I clicked on while I was sunning myself. 

The National Institute of Health released a body weight planning calculator that tells you how many calories you can consume if you want to lose or maintain weight against how active you are. Helpful and healthier than most diets out there! 

ICYMI: When Burnout Is Inevitable. "If you truly want to be bad ass at work, you need to be a happy, healthy and whole person to do it. Sacrificing in your 5-9 life will not pay off forever in your 9-5 life. In fact, it's a game of diminishing returns from day one."

Reddit has been in the news a lot lately, and not in a flattering way at all. These non-toxic and sometimes hilarious subreddits may change your mind of the site after all. See: "/r/LegalAdvice—Imagine an entire internet discussion board of people implicating themselves in criminal acts."

Can we stop pretending social media community management is as easy as posting links to Facebook and Twitter? It's equal parts art/science and gut/data. 

Some pretty and refreshing backgrounds for your computer! 

I finished Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck while I was on vacation. It was a quick and funny read - perfect for lounging in the sun (or in bed). 

Managing people. Woof. It's a rewarding, but damn hard job. Harvard Business Review has a good piece on how to manage people who are smarter than you - but really it's about how to manage becoming disconnected from being an expert in something...probably something you once did really, really well. 

"Everyone has it; the trick is to carry it elegantly." The emotional baggage tote from The School of Life. 

Trigger warnings and the university system. I'm down for being sensitive and I can even understand a healthy dose of political correctness, but what I'm seeing become the norm (largely driven by very sensitive 20-somethings) has quickly gone into the absurd. 

The idea of running away from my life and living in the middle of nowhere is so tempting that some weeks I'm a call to the rental car place away from bolting. Glynnis MacNicol took an epic lady road trip and found the Paradise Guest Ranch in Wyoming. She liked it so much she's back for the rest of summer, running their social media! Live the dream, girl. Live the dream. 

My friend Sabrina and I have found a real guilty pleasure in Selena Gomez songs. I don't even understand how some of the lyrics in her latest song work but here I am, downloading it and listening to it on my commute! Have a wonderful week, dears! 

Get "Good For You" ft. A$AP Rocky on iTunes now: http://smarturl.it/GoodForYouSG http://vevo.ly/LNGDWS

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Weekend Reads: Cheating, Bike Bitches & Ranking Break Ups

I have a terrible habit. I don't take time off. And even if I do, it is minimal and I'm still squeezing in just enough work to make it feel like I haven't taken vacation at all. Then I get all tired and stabby and grumbly and generally unpleasant to be around. Come August, I'm a wreck meandering around the city on a hair trigger. It's just not good for anyone, most of all myself. So here I find myself, on two weeks of time off. I went to a friend's wedding, I made a pit stop and visited a friend I haven't seen in ages and now I'm back home in DC. I have more than a week to let my brain rest quietly and without a schedule. For once, I'm 100% enjoying it. I'm not quite sure how to make the most of my time - I don't want to be a lump on the couch - but I figure it'll come to me. And if it doesn't, oh well. I'll just read a lot and call that win, no?  

13 questions to ask yourself if you think you're approaching burnout at work. 

Working for a brand and creating content for it feels like a bit of an uphill battle these days. Seth Godin's interview on content marketing is A+, mandatory reading for those of us in the daily hustle. 

Being a go-getter is no fun. I've been thinking a lot about how to manage high performing/high potential employees. Giving them a greater volume of work is definitely not in the plan because more work is not at all a reward and it just builds resentment on their part and isolates them from the team. 

Secret binders full of women writers. Where is the line between exclusivity and creating a safe space for women online? When Melody Kramer published a nearly exhaustive list of hidden and/or secret online groups for journalists, there was major backlash from the Binders Full of Women Writers group. 

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"Love is really a recognition of truth, a recognition of another person's integrity and truth." - Robert Graves on love, lust and the difference between the two. 

My co-worker Justin is witty and vulnerable in his ranking of his 5 favorite break ups. 

"Let's put traditional ketchup on EVERYTHING!!!" If Mexicans celebrated 4th of July like we celebrate Cinco de Mayo. 

The Buckley vs Vidal debates of 1968 look like an epic bloodbath of words. I can't wait to watch Best Enemies, a documentary of their war of words. 

""There's three things you can do when life sends a wave at you. You can run from it, but then it's going to catch up and knock you down. You can also fall back on your ego and try to stand your ground, but then it's still going to clobber you. Or you can use it as an opportunity to go deep, and transform yourself to match the circumstances. And that's how you get through the wave." fabulous life advice via Humans of New York. 

Long read: Cheating, Incorporated. An in-depth look at Ashley Madison, a dating site for adulterers...or aspiring adulterers. 

Instead of a music video, I thought I'd leave you with this trailer for Broadly, a new channel started by notoriously gritty Vice media. It's for women by women featuring some pretty bad ass stories about women all over the world. (Including a 5-inch-heel sporting motorcycle girl gang. Yesssss!) Enjoy your weekend, dears! 

Weekend Reads: Pluto, Sleeping and Bernie Sanders

I've been spending a decent amount of time with wonderful women in my circle of friends who I don't see nearly enough lately. There's something about revisiting old friendships that's a bit like hitting the reset button on your life. One fabulous lady knows the last version of me from college. Another strong, sassy gal reminds me of the faster, smilier and probably drunker version of myself from ten years ago. It's always fascinating to see yourself through someone else's eyes, even if only for a moment. When someone asked me recently, yeah but does someone ever really change that much? All I could say was, I don't know about others, but I have changed quite a bit over time. It's more a question of, do we change for the better?  Do we change forward? I think I may have left some things behind that need to be brought with me...I'm so grateful for the breadcrumbs left in the form of friendships to guide me back to that place to find them.

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Need your boss to read an email? Or, want to ask for a raise? There's a perfect time to do it. 

Maybe I'm behind. Okay, I'm always a little bit behind. But, Matt Bellassai's weekly web series, Whine About, is the best part of my week. From commentary on the most annoying types of couples to how annoying bros are, he's funny, poignant and just plain right. 

Meet the man who took us to Pluto. 

Asking for help at work can be tricky - especially when you're in a position of leadership. 

I don't do it enough, but guided meditation really helps my quality of sleep. This one is a little bit different but, man is it appropriate for some of my days. 

Everything we're afraid might happen if we ask new acquaintances to coffee. 

If you haven't read this New Yorker article about The Earthquake That Will Destroy The Coastal Northwest, then you haven't felt fear in your heart yet. 

Sleep is my favorite hobby - so why can't we fall asleep? 

Never heard of Bernie Sanders before he decided to run for president? Check out this profile. 

"You are not for everyone. But there is somebody who you are really, really for. And it will be really easy for that person to love you.” Gah! Heart...touched...so...relatable! 

Jim Bankoff, the CEO of Vox Media, is a seriously interesting dude.  

I've been listening to a steady stream of Brittany and Notorious BIG and other hits from my high school years lately. In case you forgot what a gem Hypnotize is, here's the video to jog your memory. Have a great weekend, dears! 

"Hypnotize" by The Notorious B.I.G. From The Notorious B.I.G. album "Life After Death" (1997). Download on iTunes: http://bit.ly/ABNZ1x Listen on Spotify: http://spoti.fi/HE18m6 © 2011 WMG

Image found here. 

Weekend Reads: Lube, Strategy & Why Context Matters

Long week. Longer weekend. Right? I'm ready for a cocktail and some serious time with my Netflix queue. 

Love love love (!!) this Harvard Business Review piece on digital strategy. Not to mention all the different types of strategy there can be...it's not one size fits all, folks. 

Im not one for the kind of "positive self talk" advice people usually give women, but this piece on putting yourself down puts things in stark contrast, and perspective. 

This dachshund taking a bath in the sink is my spirit animal. 

Do you cry at work? Admittedly, I cry at work plenty. Hard days, bad days, super super frustrating days when I can't just blurt out, "WHY ARE YOU BEING A JERK!!!" It happens. I'm not one for flaunting it though - I hit the bathroom, close my office door or take a walk and call my dad. I give myself 15 min and then I get my shit together and move on. 

The business of being a spy. Everyone has to do expense report. Everyone. 

I've been thinking a lot about flexibility and security as a function of financial independence lately. My pursuit of money has never about acquiring stuff, it's always been about feeling secure. So when Penelope Trunk's advice on reinvention included "compartmentalizing your debt," I thought that was interesting perspective. 

Context matters - listen, ask questions and always, always seek first to understand before you open your mouth in business and in life. 

Best opening line of an article...ever: “I used to work for WD-40,” says Helen Way, senior marketing manager for Astroglide. “And when I started at Astroglide, I told all my friends: I’m back in the lube business—and this time, it’s personal.” 

What a huge day for marriage equality and the LGBT community! I'm thrilled for us all - because really, what's wrong with a world that has a little more love in it? My friend Danny shared a song that really just encapsulates it all. Have a wonderful weekend, dears! 

Weekend Reads: Puppets, Work Jerks & Signing Rap

If you can't tell me the difference between an objective, a goal, a strategy and a tactic right now get to reading this chapter from Buck Up, Suck Up. Your stock will increase at work if you can put everything you do through this process. 

I get asked a lot about working with jerky people or how to deal with people with attitudes. Harvard Business Review has some solid advice. I'd add, don't take it personal. 90% of the time when someone is a jerk at work, it has nothing to do with you.

Lately I've been saying that I can't wait until I turn 50 so I can wear nothing but Eileen Fisher's clothes. I just love her and now that I know how she got her start, I love her even more. 

"I want the work to reflect my level of gifts and talent. I don't want it to reflect my color or my sex or my age. That's what I want." - Viola Davis on her massively successful career and legacy. That's what I want too! 

Music is for everyone, and Amber Galloway Gallego is making sure rap, specifically, is for the deaf too. 

Here's a shameless plug for my teammate, David Friedman. He produced this beautiful mini-doc about Ricky, a puppeteer, and Doris, a retired dance critic, and their unconventional friendship in New York City. 

Dating in "the best city for love" in a nutshell: "When confronted with a surplus of women, men become promiscuous and unwilling to commit to a monogamous relationship. In societies with too many women, the theory holds, fewer people marry, and those who do marry do so later in life. Because men take advantage of the variety of potential partners available to them, women’s traditional roles are not valued, and because these women can’t rely on their partners to stick around, more turn to extra familial ambitions like education and career." From, All The Single Ladies. 

I'm still waiting for the song of the Summer to come out so I'm revisiting some of my favorites from last year. Nico & Vinz never quite made it, but I really think they deserved it. Have a wonderful weekend dears! 

Watch the music video for the hit single "Am I Wrong" by Nico & Vinz. 'BLACK STAR ELEPHANT' AVAILABLE NOW Get the autographed poster bundle:http://smarturl.it/BSEAlbumBundle Download on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/BSEPO Download on Amazon: http://smarturl.it/BSEPOAmazon LISTEN TO 'BLACK STAR ELEPHANT' Stream: http://smarturl.it/BSEStream LINKS Official Website: http://www.nicoandvinz.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/nicoandvinz Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/nicoandvinz Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/nicoandvinz Music video by Nico & Vinz performing Am I Wrong.

Image source.

Weekend Reads: Infidelity, Street Art & Documentaries

I'm off to New York City for a bachelorette party and time with a couple of my favorite people. If I can get in some sun and lounging, I'll be a really happy camper. In the meantime, here's some links I've been collecting for you! 

Email. Ugh. Email marketing. Ugh to the max! My friend Michael did a great presentation-turned-Medium post about how to make email marketing suck less. 

I love Amanda Palmer's interview with Tim Ferris. From about 12:30 to 25:00 she discusses how she developed her TED Talk (and other aspects of her art). She talks a lot about the importance of pairing down your message to one impactful point, the importance of language and even more importantly, the value of shutting up and listening sometimes. 

While she talks about everything in the context of creating art, the same principles apply to many of us at work – powerful storytelling, selling our ideas. Simplifying our message and making it as impactful and resonant as possible will help us succeed more than trying to cram everything into one conversation, one presentation or one report. 

Vitamins. A crowded, boring, unreliable and overwhelming market. Not any more. 

Thinking about how to get ahead in your career? Have you considered flip flopping? 

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If you're all about the '16 presidential cycle, this New York Times chart of campaign staffers will be right up your alley.

What is infidelity? This TED talk is for anyone who's ever loved. 

The derailment of Amtrak train 188 seen through the eyes of someone who was there when it happened is gut wrenching. 

Pooping in space. That is all. 

As if Silicon Valley wasn't a world of its own already, there's a few hundred teenagers who've dropped out of school to join the scramble to become the next big start up. 

The most important question you'll ever ask yourself in life. (For real, this is one to ponder.)

Aztec culture meets Mexico City street artists in this three minute video by BBC. 

"I think everybody is impatient for success. It will come, but you shouldn’t let that impatience drive you crazy."-@greggutfeld to '15 grads

— The Five (@TheFive) May 19, 2015

I love documentaries! On my radar right now is Amy, about Amy Winehouse's life, fame and spiral downward, even just the trailer looks heartbreaking! Fresh Dressed is about the role of fashion in hip hop culture and it's evolution over the years. This one happens to be produced by Nas and and directed by Sacha Jenkins so I'm sure it will be great. 

Amanda Palmer on embracing your "flaws."

I am intrigued by powder sunscreen. Have you guys ever tried it? 

Have a wonderful weekend dears! 

Weekend Reads: Writing Uncomfortably, #TalkPay & Juke Boxes

Weekend, glorious weekend! William Zinsser, author of On Writing Well, passed recently and upon reading his profile I decided to read his book. I have a pavlovian response to writing (painful angst), but am also drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I don't think I'm the best writer in town, nor am I the worst, but I would like to get better. Better writing only comes with time and practice...and maybe a xanax or two. Maybe reading On Writing Well will sooth some of my frayed nerves? Maybe. 

The importance of being uncomfortable - why it's so important to show up when you don't want to or have that difficult conversation. It builds a strength that manifests in ways you'd never imagine. 

The first question you should ask of any strategy.

Maximize. Optimize. Call it what you want, but knowing yourself really well means you can do better work and be more successful just as you are. 

I don't know if being more likable at work is really something we need to be worrying about, but being influential? Absolutely. Rooted in empathy and kindness, I can tell you these 6 habits are spot on. 

“Be wary of security as a goal,” Mr. Zinsser advised graduates of Wesleyan University in Connecticut in 1988. “It may often look like life’s best prize. Usually it’s not.” via The New York Times

Email as a primary communication tool is unavoidable, so try the 1 - 2 - Meet rule when email just isn't working. 

The Wall Street Journal asked a juke box vendor what the most popular songs were in New York City by zip code. The results are relatable, hilarious and sometimes so spot on for the neighborhood you can't help but laugh. 

If you don't know much about Shine Theory, it's time you learned. 

A cadre of folks on Twitter are embracing the #TalkPay movement. Spurred by a software designer who feels that the only way to close the gender wage gap is through disclosure and transparency, folks are tweeting where they work, what they do and how much they make doing it. Wired explores the trend, but also grapples with how sticky and emotional it can be to talk about how much we make. 

Have a wonderful weekend, dears! I've been listening to my "I Wish I Was In Miami" playlist on Spotify which includes a lot of Shakira. Look up the lyrics if you don't understand 'em, but you can appreciate her swagger and talent regardless. 

Image source: found here

Weekend Reads: Negotiating, Silk Road & GamerGate

Spring is upon us, dears! I don't know quite how to put it, but while everything in life has not been peachy keen I still have a sense of hopefulness overall. I'm excited for the summer - salt air, steamy days, cold beers. I feel like maybe something good is on the other side of all that's happening right now! And that's just a really nice feeling. 2015...I have high hopes for you! 

Salary negotiation tips from a hostage negotiator. Yikes! 

The power of the social share - Buzzfeed has that on lock down. Now, how do they measure it? 

Female CEOs, just drowning in opportunity (she said while rolling her eyes).

I'm saving this juicy long read about Marc Andreessen, one of Silicon Valley's premier venture capitalists and cofounder of the firm A16Z.

Instead of asking yourself what your passion is, ask one of these three questions instead. 

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The Untold Story of Silk Road, or "How a 29-year-old idealist built a global drug bazaar and became a murderous kingpin".

"Happiness is love. Full stop." 

"If you’re authentic, open, you call things as they are, you really are direct and you listen well, that develops trust." Joel Peterson of JetBlue on leadership. 

Boston Magazine interviews the "Pope of GamerGate," Zoe Quinn’s ex-boyfriend who has his mind set on ruining her reputation and probably her life. 

Instead of worrying about wrinkles or a little extra weight, what if women worried instead about eternal coolness? 

Two of my favorite movies: Tremors and Big Trouble In Little China made this io9 list of 30 cult movies everyone should see. 

The major disconnect between what women want in their wives versus what they want in their daughters. 

Where is all your time going? A spreadsheet to figure it out. 

Modern Love is always a great read, but this take on label-less dating made me eye roll just a little bit. 

Round beach towels. I'm in love. 

I'm a huge (huuuuuge) Oasis fan so I was pretty thrilled when the saner half of the infamous brother/rocker duo, Noel Gallagher, released a solo album. It's good summer drinking on the roof top, taking a road trip kind of music! Have a great week, dears! 

Image Source: gabyburger's Etsy shop! 

Weekend Reads: Algorithms, Ice Cubes & Cholas

I might need to change the weekend reads to Monday reads. Lately my Friday mornings are busy busy busy with reporting and catching up and making sure nothing is left behind at the end of the week. But my Mondays are pretty smooth sailing! So here we go! 

Men have been doing it for decades...the workday uniform goes beyond blue suits to us ladies now.

5 lessons for leaders from Poynter.

Someone asked what it took to be super successful and Justine Musk, Elon Musk's ex-wife answered. I must admit, even just her description of greatness is exhausting. "Learn to handle a level of stress that would break most people," she quips.

Why the second in command is often the most powerful. Also, why it might be more appealing than being the one in the limelight. 

We all know about Facebook interest targeting, here's a few publishers and how they're using it. 

If you're going to keep talking about algorithms, please know what you don't know. 

Bookmark It: very detailed tips and tricks about public speaking from someone who never thought they'd end up being a public speaker. 

Decision fatigue is a real thing. If you're managing staff or making big decisions at work, know your rhythm and how to manage your own emotional resilience. 

10 tips for looking smarter in meetings (ugh, groan, eye roll)

Inside HBO's grand storytelling experience.

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Brewing while female, lady beer lovers get a few new icons. Speaking of beer, why is there a Craigstlist black market for canned beer? 

Miniature fancy 3D ice cubes could make whiskey drinking extra spesh. 

Traditional dating advice goes something like, date folks who are most similar to your background/upbringing - or in this case the author explores the idea of dating within your own race. But as one journalist on Twitter pointed out, what are us bi-racial folks supposed to do? 

25 women on female friendship, and of course Tavi is spot on: 

“Girl hate is not hating someone who happens to be a girl, it’s hating someone because we’re told that, as girls, we should hate other girls who are as awesome as or more awesome than ourselves. That there can ever only be ONE cool girl, ONE funny girl, ONE smart girl, etc., in a circle of people”

— Tavi Gevinson

Cholas are more than gold name plate necklaces and big bangs - the fashion you know is closely tied to a lifestyle and culture born of marginalized people going all the way back to the '30s. 

Have a wonderful week, dears! I've been listening to the Furious 7 soundtrack lately and I doubt that's anything y'all would want to partake in with me so here's a little Paolo Nutini for you. 

Live version of 'Iron Sky' from Paolo's album 'Caustic Love'. Recorded live at Abbey Road, London. Download 'Caustic Love' on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/caustic.itunes CD & Vinyl also available: http://smarturl.it/causticlove US fans check out the Iron Sky EP available now http://smarturl.it/ironskyep or playlist & stream it on your preferred streaming service via http://smarturl.it/IronSky_Streaming German fans watch here: http://www.muzu.tv/paolo-nutini/iron-sky-video/2176065 Share this on Facebook: http://goo.gl/qsT8cK Directed by Huse Monfaradi http://www.husemonfaradi.com/ THE GREAT DICTATOR Copyright © and ℗ Roy Export S.A.S.

Image Source: Me! (Alejandra Owens)

Weekend Reads: Well, It's Been Awhile Now Hasn't It?! Edition

Life. That biatch. She happened again! The last few months have been a whirlwind of travel and change and friends and way, way over scheduling myself. While it's been fun, I'm taking a permanent marker to my planner and scrawling "NO PLANS" across the next two weeks. I don't know about you guys, but I end up craving quiet time at home when things get nutty and that's just what I need right now. I hope you enjoy some of the links I've been collecting over the last few weeks! 

PS - I wish I could take credit for that awesome quote, but I can't and it was passed on to me by a very dear friend from someone who said it to her. If it's an original quote, let it enter the hive mind of the internet. If it's not, let me know who said it in the comments. I think it's the best thing someone could say to me on a hard day, to be honest! 

How do you apply the principles of social media across all platforms? A good read from Buzzfeed on their approach to apps. 

We all know Steve Jobs really knew how to GSD (and usually with some debate over his approach to it) but a few lessons learned from how he ran meetings are straightforward and universal. 

The Economist put out a great paper on the rise of the marketer. Spoiler alert: it's not just about conversions and the bottom line anymore. 

Serif vs. Sans Serif. If you're in digital anything, bookmark this. 

Am buying these ribbons for my coworkers who endure meeting-filled weeks. 

Resumes for men and women are verrrrry different. Take notes, ladies. 

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"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” - Mary Oliver

— Saeed Jones (@theferocity) April 2, 2015

Isn't that a nice way to think about things? I think so. 

Aging while rapping. 

If you don't know who Desus and Mero are, it's probably time you learn. 

Our culture is not one that embraces civil discourse anymore. We seem to either be sheltering ourselves from others' ideas or rampantly assaulting anyone who will listen with our own. What role do universities play in creating "safe spaces" versus an intellectual space. 

Capellini en brodo. Maybe the best way to my heart. 

These three ladies have a collective resume and rolodex that would put any DC-er to shame.  

Bored and Brilliant. What if putting down your phone increased your creative output? 

85 hilarious tweets for when you need to turn that frown upside down! 

What does it mean to be a badass (woman)?

When drinking isn't alcoholism - cutting back on heavy drinking. 

Dogs in a photo booth. 

We usually hear about not wanting or wanting kids from a woman's perspective, but what happens when men know they want kids and women are not so sure? 

Tavi on Acting Out. 

Have a great weekend friends! Here's some new Ester Dean if you're in the mood for some rap this week! 

NEW ALBUM MISS ESTER DEAN

Image Source: Me! (Alejandra Owens)